Friday, 7 July 2017

Candid Life

Since I kind of fell into blogging It's something that's become part of my life.
As anyone who works from home blogging will tell you that it's not your standard job; 
eventually the lines are blurred and you end up working in some context all through the day or well into the night; answering emails and keeping up with social media accounts are woven into feeding, bathing, nap-times and trips out. What we do is about our daily life so it's not easy keeping them compartmentalised. Sometimes you become so wrapped up in content and followers that you forget to actually just be present. 
On top of that there's the endless comparison that has to be kept a tight rein on; although we might share so much of our daily lives all anyone can really get is a small insight. Behind the pretty pictures there aren't perfect lives or perfect people. While I don't think there's anything wrong with showing the nice pictures, I would never want anyone to look through my instagram and feel like it represents my whole life, it doesn't. Those tiny squares don't show the bickering children, the pile of washing, the messy floor, the exhausted mum, the grumpy mum, the sad mum. These things should go with out saying, and I'm glad so many people are able to see social media for what it really is, but for those who don't, the people like me, the people sometimes who feel like their life is somehow lacking or as though they aren't enough, maybe this little reminder might help.
Look a little deeper; life is not perfect, but it is beautiful even in it's brokenness.
The thing that made me really start blogging was a way of counting my own Blessings instead of comparing myself with other people. And I'm so pleased that I did; because among so many things that have happened over the last few years, this little space of mine is something that has contributed in its own tiny way to changing me. Changing the way I see myself and other people. Seeing them as people not a perfect gallery of perfect lives. Seeing how people capture the beauty in their every day moments, good and bad, made me start looking at my life differently. It's not about having it all, it's about being grateful for what you do have in each moment.
The last few weeks have been hard; I feel exhausted, disorganised, a mess and sometimes just fed up. Taking pictures and posting on social media just hasn't been something I've felt like doing, which is hard when it's what you do; but its also the nature of this work that we can be honest and say when things are sometimes...well crap. Life is hard but it's the hard times that really make us.
So this is me this week.
Messy hair, no make up, tired eyes and feeling like I'm ten years older and have seven more children than I actually have.
But grateful, so very grateful, for this exhausting life.


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